Your tits are I can't wait for
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
