I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
