you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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