i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
