ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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