my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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