yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
