JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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