Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
