you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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