She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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