The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
