Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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