the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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