When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
