I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
