the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize