i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
