i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
