too bad you live with your parents still
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
