So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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