areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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