you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
