I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
