You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
