You made me cry and you don't even care
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
