my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
