You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
