I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize