THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
