I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize