dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
