Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
