There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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