dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
