I'm jealous of your bromance
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
