Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
