that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
