It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
