dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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