yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
