The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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