Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
