I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
bring money and cleavage
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Randomize
