I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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