oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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