Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
