perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
