Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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