My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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