i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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