I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize