I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Randomize
