I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So vagazzling was a success
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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