So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You can't just leave with hair like that
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
