I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize