I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
