this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
