I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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