she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize