Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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