If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
