So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
