what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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