I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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