Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
false alarm. still invincible.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
