omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
